Starting Graduate school in your 50's is daunting...starting anything in your 50's is daunting! But here I am starting my on and off academic career up again while juggling work, grand kids, a husband and a needy cat. But, this is where I want to be right now. It is frightening, engaging, exhilarating, challenging and feels a lot like juggling crystal glasses and having someone toss in a chainsaw. A lot could go wrong in any of the areas of my life, or, on the other hand, it could all fit together smoothly. So far so good, except for the needy cat.
There are nay sayers out there, people, who for some unknown reason, don't want you to succeed. They are not diabolical about it. No, they are the ones who point out all the things that could or will go wrong, how you will not be at your absolute best in all parts of your life and how this will somehow affect them.
And then there are those, like my husband, who will eat yet another meal of takeout while I feverishly type papers and will re-read several times over my philosophical outpourings, skimming through my fragile thoughts for miss-spellings, typos and general brain mush.
What would I do without him and what can I do to reward him. Make a home cooked meal once in awhile he says, with longing in his voice.
I am learning to schedule my time. I am becoming rather possessive of it too, which is terribly uncharacteristic of me. I am a people person, I give to everyone my heart and my soul. But now I am finding that instead of those long lovely conversation on the phone, I have to sit and read my lit novel, or slush though my philosophy text. Lofty, yes, but lonely. I have actually said no to family outings because I absolutely have to spend the weekend writing a 5 pager.
Nevertheless, I have chosen this new adventure, and I will prevail. Chinese takeout, lonely weekends spent with Plato or Saul Bellows, six drafts of an Art abstract, these are all now apart of my life. Onwards and upwards!